Vacationing with Ex-Spouse and Children: It Might Work

For many divorced couples, the idea of vacationing with an ex-spouse is absolutely out of the question. But for those who can get along reasonably well, vacationing together with their children can be a good way to save money and produce some good memories for the kids, and maybe even for themselves.

One divorced parent who has vacationed with his ex says that there are advantages. First, it is easier to take care of children with two adults than it is with one. Second, the adult interaction is welcome. An entire vacation with just kids to talk to can get old quickly.

Some couples who divorce embrace the idea of vacationing together so that they can experience young children’s “firsts.” Once the precedent is set, some couples eventually include new spouses and half-siblings in mass vacations.

Some celebrities have been able to vacation with their exes. Bruce Willis has vacationed with his former wife, Demi Moore, their three daughters, and her current husband, Ashton Kutcher. Willis said in a 2007 interview, “It’s hard to understand, but we go on holidays together. We still raise our kids together – we still have that bond.”

One psychologist who likes the idea of exes vacationing together if they are able, also cautions that children of divorce frequently fantasize that their parents will reunite, and vacationing together might feed that fantasy. The parents need to emphasize that the joint vacation is a special event, and won’t become a normal way of life.

Arianna Huffington, 60, waited twelve years after her divorce to vacation with her ex-husband, former Republican Congressman Michael Huffington, and their teen daughters. But she considered the trip a great success, and urged other divorced parents to follow suit, for the benefit of their kids.

Pittsburgh divorce lawyers know that vacationing with an ex-spouse is not for everyone, and probably not even for most divorced people. But wherever cooperation is possible between parents, for their children’s sake, it is welcome.

Source: Washington Post “When mom and dad are divorced, vacationing with the kids may mean traveling with the ex” 3/16/2011